For families considering older child adoption it is important to do a self-assessment based on your ideas and thoughts about this type of adoption.  Here are some questions to consider:

  1. Why do you want to adopt an older child?
  2. What does “older child” mean to you?
  3. Who introduced the idea of adopting an older child?
  4. Do you and your spouse feel the same level of desire toward adoption of an older child?
  5. Are you open to potentially adopting (select all that apply): Transracially, A child who has been sexually abused, a child who has a mental health diagnosis, A child with attachment issues.
  6. Are you open to being placed with a child from out of state?
  7. Are you open to parenting a sibling group?
  8. Do you have flexibility at work to take up to 6 weeks (combined) off during/after the adoption?
  9. Has the decision to adopt caused conflict in your relationship?
  10. Have you shared your plans to adopt an older child with family and/or friends? If so, how have they responded to your decision?
  11. What do you feel you could contribute to an older child?
  12. What aspects of child rearing are so important to you that you would find it difficult to compromises (such as discipline, religion, schooling, stay-at-home parenting, etc.)?
  13. Deep down do you feel like you are being forced to adopt if you want to have children, adoption as a means to build a family is “second best,” or that adoption is your “last resort” if you want to be able to have children?
  14. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest, how committed are you to the adoption process?