One of our very own PWNL Moms has been recognized as one of the best Adoptive Mom Blogs of 2016 by Healthline for her blog, Adoptive Black Mom. Adoptive Black Mom chronicles her adoption journey from the searching process to her every day parenting struggles in an honest and relatable way and gives a voice to people of color involved in adoption. Adoptive Black Mom is a captivating and thoughtful account of what it is like to not only parent a child who has a history of trauma, but what it is like to do it as a single African American mother. In addition to her blog, Lisa hosts a podcast titled, Add Water and Stir, where she along with her cohost, blogger Mimi Robinson, give a platform to adoptive families and adoption professionals to share stories and strategies on parenting while having fun in the process.
One of the things that make Adoptive Black Mom a great resource for adoptive parents in all stages of the process is that all of the blogs from 2013 to now are on her website and readers can follow her detailed account of every stage and struggle she’s encountered in the process. A reader who has not followed her blog from the beginning can find hope in all of the progress she has made as a parent. Here is an example of a trial from when she first adopted her daughter to a triumph a few years later…
February 23rd, 2014
“Adoption drama needs its own version of Google Translate. It’s incredibly hard to spend time with someone who just says they hate you over and over again. Absurdly Gorgeous Therapist (AGT) called me to check in and reiterated that new adoptive parents must bear the brunt of all the anger of trauma and loss these kids feel. Yeah, dude, I know. But that ish is whack. Yeah, there, I said it. It totally sucks arse to sit and just be the whipping post. Oh, and let me not to forget to mention her boundary pushing efforts to be just generally rude and obnoxious. I think we should have a google translate app for every crappy moment.
Kid says: “I hate you! I wish I’d never come here! I wish you would just go away and die.”
Google Translation: “I’m not sure how to love or be happy, but you’re nice and kind and I have no frigging idea how to take that. Please don’t stop being kind to me and for God’s sake, don’t leave me!”
Yeah…adoptive parents need that app and we need it yesterday.”
August 13th, 2016
“My biggest struggle in being Hope’s adoptive mom is checking my entire ego at the door. Admittedly I have a huge personality, I give off big energy, I like having a big voice and probably at some point in my life even demonstrated a few bully tendencies. Setting down my ego and keeping it in check is one of my life struggles as a mom…Part of checking my ego is about redefining success. I’m forced to constantly adjust myself and family assessment. I was away for nearly a week for work recently. What did success look like when I arrived home:
· Hope took her meds every day.
· Yappy didn’t poop in the house due to anxiety.
· Some of the healthy food I left behind was consumed.
· Chores while I’m gone? What are those?
· Yappy got a bath while I was gone, not because I told Hope to bathe him but because she said he needed one (10 extra points for Hope).
· I know that she bought school clothes that met my criteria for just one step outside of her jeans and tee comfort zone (30 extra points for Hope).
· Her room was nearly spotless when I got home from my trip.
Parenting is humbling, it really is. The decisions are tough, the expenses are crazy, the scheduling is consuming. It really is like just thinking of yourself as a cup and pouring it all out for the benefit of your kid. It is pretty selfless and pretty exhausting.But ahhh, those moments when Hope tells me some parent-approved version of her secrets, smiles when we are in the kitchen together or just texts me that she loves me, those moments are everything. They are the greatest reward for learning to practice humility.”
Adoptive Black Mom is a true, honest account of what it is like to parent a child with a trauma history and addresses the obstacles she faces with her daughter around race, behavior, trauma, and so much more. Any parent who is finalized, placed, in the process, or thinking about older child adoption would benefit from taking the time to read this award-winning blog.
To read the blog, visit: https://adoptiveblackmom.com
To see the full list of the Healthline Best Adoptive Mom Blog Winners, visit: http://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/best-adoption-blogs#1