So many questions run through the minds of the birth parents I work with, but they often pale in comparison to this one question: How soon can I pick a family for my baby? That makes sense. When a birth parent is facing a flood of questions and concerns, it is comforting to know that the match has been made and to start to imagine what your baby’s life will be like. It is natural to want that comfort as soon as possible. We always try to give the birth parent as much control over their adoption planning process as possible. There are, however, some very good reasons not to rush this very important decision.
- The first question to ask yourself when considering a fast or early match is how sure are you that you want to place the child for adoption. This is the primary question every birth parent must sort through, and the last thing we want is for you to feel obligated to make a big decision you might regret. Sometimes an early match can cut short the birth parent’s opportunity to acknowledge doubts, talk about them, and sort out whether they are just normal doubts, or an indication that placing for adoption is not right for you. We want your decision to be something you truly think is best, not something you are rushed into.
- The second question to ask yourself when considering an early match is what is most important to you in an adoptive family? When I meet with expectant parents this question is one of the first I ask. I hear a wide range of answers. People will tell me that they want a stay-at-home parent, a big house, or a family that travels. Surprisingly, their wish list almost always changes as the process develops. As birth parents learn more about adoption and consider the questions their counselor poses they start to discern what traits they value most. If a client does not have the time to sort through all the information, they may not choose the family that is the best fit for them.
- The last two questions to ask yourself when considering a fast match is what do you have to gain, and what do you have to lose? This is an important decision – one that with shape your life as a birth parent, and the life of your baby. What are you gaining by making the decision early? What might you gain if you gave yourself a few more weeks to think it through?
In the final analysis this is your journey, but we want to give you every opportunity to make the best choice for you. That’s what we are here for. Feel free to call toll-free, 1-888-731-6601 or text locally (MD, VA, DC) 240-600-1106.